A man's tendency to cheat is one of the most painful issues a woman may face in a relationship. Although the common belief is that a man cheats because he is dissatisfied with his sex life, recent studies revealed a connection between unfaithfulness and emotional discontent. Here are the top five reasons men give for straying.
Lack of Emotional Support
The number one reason men gave for cheating was that they felt unappreciated. Most stated that daily stresses such as bills, children and chores and a lack of thoughtful gestures from their partner made them feel unloved and neglected. Some admitted that having an affair made then feel special and briefly distracted them from day-to-day burdens.
An Ego Boost
There are few things that lift the self-esteem like discovering that another person desires you sexually. On the outside men may appear strong, powerful and capable but on the inside, most are insecure and have a fragile ego. Some men in long-term relationships begin to question their sexual marketability and are curious to see if they can "get back into the game." Having an affair can also help a man feel admired and attractive.
He Is A Coward
In some cases a man will cheat because he wants to end a relationship but is afraid to do so. Some men will go out of their way to avoid talking about problems they are having with their partner. Others cringe so much at the thought of an emotional discussion that they will behave badly, forcing their partner to end things.
Revenge
Some men view cheating as a way to get back at a partner for nagging or criticizing, not being attentive enough or even for gaining weight or not be as attractive as she once was. Other men use cheating as a way to even the score after learning their partner has had an affair.
Peer Pressure
In our society, peer pressure is one of the strongest forces for encouraging people to to try new things. Because monogamous relationships are the norm, it is unlikely that a man will be openly advised to have an affair. Subtle pressure from friends or co-workers or listening to stories of their sexual encounters may encourage cheating.
To discourage unfaithfulness, it is important to keep the lines of communication open, not allow your life to become completely about your job, children or household chores and make your relationship a top priority.
For more information on unfaithfulness read Six Signs Your Partner May be Unfaithful and Five Signs He May Be Cheating.
Sources:
- M. Gary Neuman, The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, Wiley, August 2008.
- Susan Forward, When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal, Harper Paperbacks, December 1999.
- Dr. Jane Greer, How Can You Do This To Me?, Main Street Books, August 1998.
- Don-David Lusterman, Infidelity: A Survival Guide, New Harbinger Publishing, May 1998.
- Michael Baisden, Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat, Legacy Publishing, July 1995.
Danielle McGinnis - Danielle McGinnis is the mother of a college freshman and full-time freelance writer.
