In a committed relationship nothing is more damaging than infidelity. Although men are believed to be genetically disposed to cheating, recent studies have shown that women in their 20s and 30s cheat just as often as men of the same age. Surprisingly, the reasons women cheat vary significantly from those that men give. Read on for the top five explanations as to why women stray outside a relationship.
Revenge
Some women who cheat do so as revenge towards a partner they feel have wronged them. Most women believe that men are not empathetic and cannot feel the same pain they felt unless they experience it directly. In this case, a woman may not want to be unfaithful but believes doing so is the only way her partner will understand the hurt he has caused. Once a woman cheats, the end result is usually guilty feelings and further damage to the relationship.
An Exit Affair
Often women who are extremely dissatisfied with their relationship use cheating as a means to escape. This type of infidelity is known as an exit affair. An exit affair typically occurs when a women feels too guilty to end the relationship. Because men are less inclined to forgive infidelity, they often initiate a breakup, alleviating the woman of guilty feelings. Having an affair can also ensure a woman has someone to turn to after her relationship ends.
Reliving the Past
When a relationship is experiencing difficulties, a woman may turn to an ex-boyfriend for solace. This type of infidelity isn't about rekindling feelings for a former lover. It stems from a desire to feel like the person she was when they were together. Some women find that being with a former lover makes them feel youthful, carefree, sexy and attractive.
Traumatic Life Event
Not all traumatic events bring two partners closer together. A woman who has experienced a life changing event such as an accident or illness is often compelled to reevaluate her accomplishments and lifestyle. Some conclude that they are "missing out on something" or are not adventurous enough. This may lead a woman to look outside her relationship to find happiness or satisfaction.
A Partner With Baggage
An ex-wife, a meddling mother-in-law or friends that don't know when to go home can take their toll on a relationship. If a man has too much baggage, a woman may begin examining options outside their partnership. Having an affair can be a way to escape the numerous stresses which often occur in a relationship.
For more information on relationships and infidelity read Five Signs You're In a Dead End Relationship and What is an Emotional Affair?
Sources:
- Debra Laino PhD, Eleven Reasons Why Wmen Cheat, SynergEbooks, June 2010.
- Mira Kirshenbaum, When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships, St. Martin's Griffin, July 2009.
- Frances Cohen Praver, Daring Wives: Insight into Women's Desires for Extramarital Affairs, Praeger, March 2006.
- Philip A. Spight Sr., Why Do Women Cheat? What Can I Do to Stop It?, BookSurge Publishing, January 2006.
- Diane Shader Smith, Undressing Infidelity, Why More Wives are Unfaithful, Adam Media Corp, February 2005.
Danielle McGinnis - Danielle McGinnis is the mother of a college freshman and full-time freelance writer.
