Part 2 of this two part series discusses five of the top ten myths related to infidelity, affairs and cheating.
Myth: Infidelity Means the End of a Relationship
Truth: Surprisingly, more relationships survive an affair than end because of one. Regardless of what caused the affair, the majority of couples choose to continue their partnership. Having extended family, sharing close friends and wanting to continue parenting children together often motivates couples to work through the crisis. With the assistance of a marriage counselor, most go on to have a solid, successful relationship.
Myth: Details of An Affair Must Be Confessed
Truth: Whether or not the details of an affair are confessed should be motivated by the uninvolved partner's need to know and not by the cheating partner's need to alleviate his or her feelings of guilt. Most marriage counselors believe that any details the uninvolved partner shows no interest in knowing are better left unsaid. Studies have shown that it is possible for both parties to recover without full disclosure as long as the cause of the affair is understood and necessary changes are made to the relationship.
Myth: An Affair Can Improve a Relationship
Truth: An affair cannot improve a relationship. An affair can call attention to weak points or problems in a partnership. Once both parties are aware of those problems, they can make changes which will strengthen their relationship.
Myth: Discussing the Affair Will Drive the Couple Further Apart
Truth: While discussing the x-rated details of an affair can be traumatizing and is not necessary, most marriage counselors encourage discussing why the affair occurred and what situations lead one or both partners to stray. Understanding the causes of an affair can actually help bring two people closer together.
Myth: Men Cheat Often More Than Women
Truth: While that may have been the case a few decades ago, statistics now show that women cheat as often as men, but for different reasons. Studies have shown that women who cheat typically feel more guilty than men but are actually better at lying and more likely to get away with having an affair.
For more information on relationships and infidelity read Part 1 of this series and Five Surprising Reasons Men Cheat and Five Surprising Reasons Women Cheat.
Sources:
- Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha, Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray and What It Means for Modern Relationships, Harper Perennial, July 2011.
- Stephen Rensselaer Smith, The Causes of Indifelity Removed, Ford Press, September 2010.
- Nicholas Joseph LaForet, Why Men Do Not Believe; Or, the Principal Causes of Infidelity, General Books, December 2009.
- Rona B. Subotnik and Gloria Harris, Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering From the Pain, Adams Media, June 2005.
- David P. Barash Ph.D, The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People, W.H. Freeman, May 2001.
- Frank Pittman, Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy, W.W. Norton & Company, November 1990.
Danielle McGinnis - Danielle McGinnis is the mother of a college freshman and full-time freelance writer.
